Lately I have been struggling - far more than I would ever admit to anyone to be truthful. This is not a sympathy seeking attempt - heaven knows I cant stand it. This is about re-evaluating and needing to find a way to get back to the core joys, gratitude and inner-peace I desperately need.
When I started this blog, about 13 months ago now it was with the intention of creating a space that only focussed on the good stuff, however small they may be, in each day. As time went on I gradually moved away from the daily check-in and concious focus on the little happy things.
Now I find myself feeling sad, low and tired. I need to pick myself up and stop looking to the world and people around me for a feeling of belonging, friendship, or importance. I give my heart and soul to those around me. That wont ever change. But I cant say it doesn't hurt when on a daily basis my fragile little heart and I are sent to the back of the queue and at the bottom of everyone else's priority lists.
Again - I am not trying to whine, moan and have an oh-woe-is-me session. I just need to get a tiny bit of this out, take a step back and go - ok, this is what we're going to do about it girlfriend.
So, I am going to go back to basics. Find the simple joys in my daily life, children and husband. EVERY. DAY. Looking for and focussing on the happy stuff forces one to always be on the lookout, to consciously seek out what is good and leaves little time to sit in a corner and sulk. What I think about, I begin to say. What I begin to say, I begin to do. What I begin to do, I become.
Onwards and upwards, to infinity and beyond!
Have a happy day :)
L x
good for you Leonie, you need to look after yourself, if you are not okay yourself then you cannot be of help to anybody else. The worst feeling is not being appreciated for everything that you do for everybody else (I know that feeling) and just wishing that people would notice what you do and give recognition for it.
ReplyDeleteWow.. this hits home for me in more ways than you think. I am coming up on one year of blogging, and started my blog kind of on a whim, and it quickly became a place of happy things, and really helped me to focus on what is good and happy. When other things in my life weren't so much. I am glad I found you on here.. We are all here to support you, sister!! Anything you need, ask. Even if just to vent a little. :) And on a side note, I'm SOOO relieved that you want to stalk the mailman now. I was kind of worried if the colors of the blocks I made for you would match the others you got. Also, Thank You times a MILLION (to infinity and BEYOND!) for the block you made me for this round. It came today and I was floored.. beyond incredible. You are so amazing!! xx
ReplyDeleteYou do need to look after yourself first and you know the "simple joys" as you put it are some of the best :) they are the ones that are there every day and sometimes they may not show it in what they do or say but if you were not there thier would would stop to function as they know it. Make yourself No 1 as No 2, 3, 4, and 5 can only be taken care of if you look after No 1 first :o) hugs xx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that you find yourself in such an unhappy place Leonie, BUT the good news is that you have done the hard part and recognised the problem so now you can work on making things better. Is there anything I can do to help? Look after yourself. Hugs J x
ReplyDeleteI hear you, and understand completely :) But you are a step ahead of many others because you recognise it and are ready to make the change and pull yourself through it. xx
ReplyDeleteHi honeybun.. well thanks for your honesty Leonie. I can totally understand where you are coming from, I really do understand what its like to have a fragile heart. You're a honey, a lovely person and you are a fantastic wife, mum and friend. I hope you are doing ok today. Just take small steps at a time AND don't be too hard on yourself. Big hugs... Lisa
ReplyDeleteYOU is IMPORTANT to ME xxx
ReplyDeleteLOVE you sweetheart xxx