This morning, very unexpectedly, I had to say goodbye to my Josie. My heart is so utterly crushed and all I could think to do was to write about her.
14 years ago we adopted this little moggie. She'd been abandoned, and friends of friends had heard we were looking for a cat. A vet confirmed that she was a year old and likely to have had less then gentle treatment. Taking her home from Mission Bay where she'd been found, to Northcote, we decided to call her Josie. Mostly because we'd just watched the terrible "Josie and the Pussycats" movie a few days prior and thought it hilarious.
She was our first baby. It took months to gain her trust and venture out from under the bed or let us near her. We got there eventually and soon she was sleeping on our bed and snoozing on our laps. She never quite warmed to anyone else and always disappeared at the sight or sounds of another human. People referred to her as our phantom or imaginary cat, as sightings were so rare. I am allergic to cats but built up an immunity toward her... I was utterly in love with her and determined to be buddies.
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She moved all over Auckland with us and never once seemed even close to running away. She brought us two mice and one bird in all her years and didn't really scrap with other cats. The biggest thing we did that bothered her was having human babies. She has up until last night, made a habit of disappearing outside before the kids woke up and would come back in when they were asleep. Then she would hang out with us, sleep at our feet and occasionally grace visitors with her presence...provided they weren't children.
Over the last couple of days we noticed she wasn't cleaning herself properly, she was dropping her cat biscuits and had her tongue poking out just a wee bit. Not finding anything immediately wrong and not in any obvious pain we figured she was just getting a bit old. But then a couple of nights ago, we felt a strange and rather huge bulge all down her jaw, which was very well disguised. Her eating was obviously a real mission as she was barely getting anything down...we'll take her to the vet next week we decided. And then last night she came in, all bloodied. Something was now obviously not right.
So we cleaned her up and cuddled - a bit concerned but not expecting the worst. This morning I took her to the Vet who said it was a tumor on her jaw. It had obviously been growing rapidly in the last couple of weeks and was making eating, swallowing and closing her mouth hard... and also pushing her teeth out and rupturing her gums. She was not in terrible pain though a bit uncomfortable, but otherwise in great shape for a 15 year old lady. However, there was nothing we could do and it was only a matter of days before things would go downhill even more quickly.
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I cuddled my baby as they put her to sleep. I am grateful that she is at peace and wont suffer. I am grateful I got to say goodbye, hold and cuddle her as she went to Heaven. My heart is heavy - I will miss her coming in the bathroom window while I brush my teeth, purring and slobbering as I pat her, her weight beside me while I'm sleeping or her face staring at me in the middle of the night, her gorgeous soft fur and her super soft belly. That she trusted me, and I love
d her.
Rest in peace my Josie - I will miss you terribly my Moggie xx
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